one afternoon, while strolling thru a shop with Blue, a bizarre collection of “implements” caught my eye.
now, while i’m pretty sure there are underground dildo salesmen in this country, as mentioned in a previous post, i was pretty surprised to find this collection of “tools” available out in the open.
so ladies / and some gentlemen, if your husband / boyfriend / bit on the side sucks in bed,…
and not in a good way,….
rest assured that your orgasmic salvation is at hand,…
quite literally 
first on the block, i give you the “Corn on the Cob” dildo:
it’s made of sturdy thick glass and is elegantly styled to look like a tacky mantle piece ornament so it wont draw your maids attention while shes dusting your bedroom.
following natures design, you’ll find it ribbed for your pleasure, with little corn thingys that will literally tickle your fancy.
and when youre done, just wash it up and theres no need to stash it away as you can even leave it on your dining room table, or in your fruit bowl, and no one will be the wiser. try doing that with a phallus look a like!
what am i bid?
the second implement in our collection will thrill all the tomato lovers in our audience tonight!
yup! that picture is a bit blurry because this particular tittilator actually wobbles,…. ( and i was in mid wobble when the picture was taken. )
it comes with a sturdy white plastic handle, which extends into the bit that wobbles, and ends in a nice big red heavy weighted tomato!
in the background, on the rack of toys, you will also notice a round studded blue one, which i gotta say looks pretty damn scary and a green hammer looking thing which i’m guessing would be used in conjunction with whips, chains, dripping wax candles and a bound gimp of some sort. ( bring out the gimp! …… umm yes, dating myself with that reference. )
and speaking of S&M, i give you exhibit 3:
or what i like to call ” the you-better-have-loads-of-lube-erator”.
once again, apologises for the crappy blurry photo,… mid wobble once again i’m afraid.
one simply cannot see them and not wobble them.
theyre very wobble-able!
so who says kuwait needs a sex shop to sell standard commercial sex toys like the rest of the world?!
next week:
Ace Hardware + power tools and how to turn your new “you-better-have-loads-of-lube-erator” into your very own powered dildo.
[ incase you didnt get it, there wont really be a "next week",.... unless someone really wants to know in which case i could probably call an electrical engineer who might be able to help you out ]
