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every once in a while things get serious.

they get the kind of serious that becomes a defining moment in your life.

a limited number of options present themselves to you and you have to chose between the easy, the not so bad, the hard, and the mind numbingly impossible.

each individual choice will lead you down a route that will most likely be distinctly different from the other. and yet at some point they might converge. but of course you dont know what is down those routes, and chances are you’ll probably be slightly off if not completely wrong about where one decision may lead you.

call it a fork in the road if you will, but i prefer the word “node”.

ever get deja vu?

theres a school of thought that suggests that deja vu is the actual reliving of that precise event in that precise time and space. but in this case time refers to the time of day not the larger idea of time. so they say that when you get it theres something youre not doing right cos this life is meant to be another chance to do things right this time. like a cosmic groundhog day that lasts a life time instead of a day. i think its a derivation of both buddhist and hindu thought.

the search for enlightenment by reincarnation.

anyway, i’m getting off topic.

the comfortable choice is predictable, and well comfortable and thus by definition would probably be dull. more importantly i probably wouldnt learn anything from it.

that leaves the harder routes, and of the harder routes,… the choice to be made must include both where i want to be a few years down the road, and whether or not i’m going to enjoy the journey.

its only recently in the past few years, that i’ve found what i believe to be my true calling if there is such a thing. without a doubt i know i really love what i do, and theres nothing else i’d rather be doing,……

ever get the feeling that your whole lifes been leading up to something?

that all the bullshit, all the crap along with the good stuff,… all that was just training for something to come. that everything up to now both good and bad, was moulding and crafting you into the person you are today just so you can handle something that will turn you into the person you will be tomorrow.

they aint shittin you when they say it builds character.

those have all been nodes that lead me to this point in time.

and because of them i can work my markets without the fear i see on everyones faces. and because of all the other stuff i’ve dabbled in, both professionally, personally and on the side as hobbies etc,….

lol, looking back on it now, if my life was a tv show, itd be a variety show complete with trampolining midgets, a chinese gospel choir, inuit opera singers, suicidal comedians, political activists, a couple of porn stars and a grown man in an easter bunny suit.

doesnt make sense?

lol my point exactly ๐Ÿ˜›

i can keep going as is of course and chose not to make a decision.

but i dont think that will help me grow at all. and it certainly wont grow what i do into something great or something with purpose.

so now its time to get my shit together, and hell its gonna be a bumpy ride, but the journey alone should make for a great fireside tale when i’m 90,…umm ok maybe only if youre a trader… i know i’m gonna bore my future grandkids to death ๐Ÿ˜€

i wonder if its just a coincidence that my node is occuring on the same day as Iraqs new government is being sworn in. both events so full of promise and potential, but both requiring extremely hard work to pull off successfuly.

lol, for someone who spends all day trying to predict the future,… i sure could use a psychic right about now ๐Ÿ˜›



  1. Hey you… nicely written…. but I’ll have to do a once over again and remember what I wanted to say to ya coz i forgot em by the time i reached the end….

    As for the psychic, how about a ouija board :-O…

  2. lol cheers buggers ๐Ÿ˜›

    take your time cos i know i dont write with any real structure….glad you mad eit to the end of it tho ๐Ÿ˜›

    ouija boards rock ๐Ÿ˜€ messed about with them in university,…normally at the end of a drunken night ๐Ÿ˜›

  3. At least you did it when you were drunk. I regret the fact that I have a memory of it….

    And shamelessly I still want to watch every horror movie from every other country….

  4. saddly:P,… despite the fact that we were drunk the first night,.. the next day we actually “made” our own board on our round coffee table,… cut outthe letters and everything ๐Ÿ˜

    went out to the bar with the specific intention of ordering shots so we could keep the shot glasses for our chat witht he devil later on.

    turned out it wasnt the devil but rather a 13 year old girl that died of pneumonia at the turn of the 1900’s ๐Ÿ˜

    lol we stoped after that night ๐Ÿ˜

    • NuNuรขย„ยข
    • Posted May 21, 2006 at 8:08 pm
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    • Reply

    Well said ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Dude I just got goosebumps.. the only one we successfully called was this young friend, she had died in an accident… big mistake it seemed, she wouldnt leave….

    we made ours too, but we just drew em on….. worked…

  6. cheers nunu ๐Ÿ˜€

    damn that musta been freaky JB ๐Ÿ˜

  7. Hey Skunkeroo! Guess who got a new email address for some songs……… ๐Ÿ™‚ On me page….

  8. hmmm have you done a bible code like concealment of your email? ๐Ÿ˜›

    cos i dont see your addy on your page ๐Ÿ˜›

    • รƒย’range Juiceรขย„ยข
    • Posted May 26, 2006 at 8:55 pm
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    • Reply

    Your post just reminded me of saomethng .Thanks!!!

  9. lol youre welcome OJ ๐Ÿ˜›

  10. converge, node, a cosmic groundhog day, my true calling, moulding, crafting, dabbled in, trampolining midgets, bumpy, Ouija boards, concealment?

    Very interesting. Must re-read!

  11. converge, to come together
    node, a point
    cosmic groundhog day, will explain it later if i can
    my true calling, what i’m destined to do moulding, shaping
    crafting, making
    dabbled in, did a bit of
    trampolining midgets, midgets on a trampoline which is a big bouncy thing
    bumpy, not level
    Ouija boards, that thing with the letters where you call ghosts
    concealment, to hide.

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